Speed dating and blind dating are mostly revealed to be chaotic in TV and movies. From time to time, they are used to show shady characters committing violence on trusting women. The real truth is in no way that simple. Here is a tutorial of what you can expect if you speed date or agree to a blind date.
So You Want to Speed Date?
For good reasons, speed dating has become wildly popular in the past several years. Busy people from all walks of life, those recently divorced, or just plain lonely singles tired of the drinking scene, find this type of dating is an easy way to meet a lot of potential partners in a safe and controlled environment. There is also the advantage of having easy access to other people in the same situation thus leveling the playing field. No one need feel awkward because all are in the same situation.
Getting involved in a speed date event can be exhilarating because the fear of rejection is almost completely removed. We all know what it feels like to approach someone in a club, at work, or some function only to find out they are not available to date for some reason or they just are not interested in you. Makes you feel a little foolish even though you did not know they were already in a relationship or they are simply not looking to date anyone at the moment. So, it’s important that you not take it personally.
Any feeling of rejection is minor at speed date events and is one of the top reasons why speed dating events are so popular. Everyone attending has the same motive – to meet and date a potential partner whether for fun or something more permanent. While there is a level of rejection, it is not as hurtful as a one-on-one attempt to date a specific person. Think of speed dating events as “artificial” dates designed to bring strangers together to see if there are common interests or chemistry that could result in one or more “real” dates. These dating events give you the chance to see if there is some spark before you go further. It avoids pursuing unrealistic expectations.
Speed dating also teaches us that there are many “fish in the sea” and not just one perfect catch for each of us. Match making companies make millions by selling the idea that they can help you date that one ideal person for you. The world is a big place after all. Personalities vary from person to person as do physical appearance but to say there is only one person in the world for each of us is ridiculous. This is simply not true at all.
This fact should give you hope. The more people you meet, the greater chance of finding several people with whom you can have a meaningful relationship, even marriage.
The number of people attending the speed dating event will determine how many people you are exposed to. You might only be able to sit with someone for as little as 3 minutes. If you have a small event you might get as much as 10 minutes with each candidate. Some will click with you but you will not click with them, some will leave you cold while they will think you are a hot prospect. There is no formula to follow and no guarantee of success going in. You may have to attend more than one speed date event before you find someone that is a match for a real date.
If you walk away without a dating match, don’t be discouraged and don’t feel rejected. Remember that many others have the same experience. It’s a numbers game really. Keep at it until you succeed. It beats being rejected by someone in your current sphere of life whom you might see every day.
Blind Dating Can Be Good, Too!
Getting fixed up with a blind date has been around since we carried clubs and ate our meat raw. Well, maybe not that long, but at least since we became civilized. And, of course, most of us can remember a disaster when we were paired with someone that our well-meaning friend or relative thought was perfect for us. As if they know what we want. Well, most of the time they simply do not know what we are looking for in a mate. That goes for the blind date they fix us up with, as well. It can be a bad experience for both parties.
So, how do you make this kind of date into a positive experience?
The first thing is to drop any unrealistic expectations of meeting your perfect mate. This is a date that should only be started on the idea of two strangers taking time to know one another. It’s not like speed dating because you have a whole lot more time to do it.
Throw any idea of romance or third base scoring out of your mind. In fact, lighten the experience right away by talking with your date about the whole experience of being paired by other people who do not have a clue about each of you. Laugh about it. Remove the tension by establishing the fact that you just want to enjoy their company and have a good time.
Keep all conversation light-hearted. If your date wants to talk about personal issues, just listen without judgment or advice unless asked. Don’t get into their past relationships or discuss yours, either, even if they bring it up. Try to steer the conversation in another direction.
You were fixed-up because someone thought you have a lot in common or that your personalities are a match. This may or may not be true at all so be aware of this as you move through the date. Above all, avoid appearing to be someone you are not, someone you will always have to be from that point forward if you intend to continue dating this person. It’s a trap that is easy to fall into especially if you are lonely. Stand or fall on who you really are. You’ll be glad you did in the long run.
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