Have you ever sat there for way too long trying to think of the perfect thing to say to the hot woman that caught your eye while searching your favorite dating site?
I know I have, and I know how bad it sucks.
That was until I started to learn the type of messages that tend to work and those that don’t. Once I figured that out it became a smooth process, and not like the frustration of sitting in rush hour traffic for hours on end.
With that being said, although it is important to know what TO say, let’s start out by talking about what NOT TO SAY, because that is every bit as important.
The first things to stay away from are cliche nicknames. Women don’t like being called baby, sweetie, honey, gorgeous, ma or anything similar from someone they’re not already dating. Putting these in your email is usually an immediate deal breaker.
I would also recommend avoiding any physical compliments in the first message. The only exception would be to call her cute or mention you found her attractive in a very casual manner. Never make that the main focus of your message.
Avoid short messages. A short one liner like, “Hey how’s it going” is not usually going be enough to get a reply unless your profile and photos are really top notch. Even in that case, you will do much better by composing better messages.
Even though too short is bad, too long is even worse. If you write a five paragraph essay, although you’re High School English teacher will be impressed, the woman who receives it won’t. In fact if she doesn’t immediately delete it, it will only be because she saved it to show it to all her friends and make fun of you. Don’t worry, I’ve been there too, but by following these online dating tips and the ones in my next article you can avoid that horrible fate.
Just like in your profile don’t complain or mention anything negative in the first message. This will turn a woman off, and you won’t get a response.
I would also lay off the sarcasm. It might work from time to time, but the problem is the woman can’t see your facial expression or other body language, including your tone of voice. For sarcasm to work usually you need those things at your disposal. Without those it will most likely come across as weird at best, or mean at worst, and she won’t respond.
One final thing to avoid is asking for a woman’s number in the first message. Not only will you not get the number, but by showing your lack of proper timing on this issue, you won’t even get a response. I’ve found that usually a minimum of three messages need to be exchanged before a number can be secured.
Now you are aware of what to avoid in your first email, however it’s crucial that you also understand what to include in those emails to begin getting women responding back to your email. Read Michael Kendricks article What To Write In Your First Email To A Woman Online for critical things to include in your email so you’re getting dates and not getting deleted.
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